The Winchester

Ike Turner won't have his own day. The Mayor of St. Louis has turned down a request to make September 2nd " Ike Turner Day ". I don't know about you, but this is a complete travesty. For an ethically superior man such as Ike Turner to not have his own day is ridiculous. I bet his 13 ex-wives are incensed. He wrote an autobiography in 2001, in which he denied his supposed abuse of Tina Turner during their marriage. Here is a quick quote from said autobiography. "Sure, I've slapped Tina... There have been times when I punched her to the ground without thinking. But I never beat her." Give this man his day. Anyone who can go toe-to-toe with Tina Turner in a no-holds-barred slugfest automatically gets both my support, and my love. Each of which is fleeting, so hold on to it. __________ PETA is screaming for Michael Vick's head. Nike has suspended his shoe. People are protesting with cries of "Sack Vick," which I find excruciatingly origin...

I must be out of the loop because I have no idea who Paris Hilton is... The above statement, unfortunately, is false . I wish it was true. Oh, how I wish. To not know anything about Paris Hilton (and who she is sleeping with and who she is wearing and who she is singing about and what kind of alcohol she likes to consume and what her nipples look like and how she used to carry around a small dog until it became unfashionable and now the thing probably sits in a room somewhere wondering why it has suddenly been shunned like the foul beast it is) would be absolutely spectacular. To not be subject to her daily goings-on would be much appreciated. If I knew nothing of her DUI's, court appearance, jail escape, and subsequent re-entry, I would be perfectly content with my life. Alas, this is not how our country works. For some reason unbeknownst to Yours Truly, we seem to feed on this kind of thing. We leech off the raw emotion this kind of celebrity hounding creates within us, be it a g...