What? Something About Paris??
I must be out of the loop because I have no idea who Paris Hilton is... The above statement, unfortunately, is false . I wish it was true. Oh, how I wish. To not know anything about Paris Hilton (and who she is sleeping with and who she is wearing and who she is singing about and what kind of alcohol she likes to consume and what her nipples look like and how she used to carry around a small dog until it became unfashionable and now the thing probably sits in a room somewhere wondering why it has suddenly been shunned like the foul beast it is) would be absolutely spectacular. To not be subject to her daily goings-on would be much appreciated. If I knew nothing of her DUI's, court appearance, jail escape, and subsequent re-entry, I would be perfectly content with my life. Alas, this is not how our country works. For some reason unbeknownst to Yours Truly, we seem to feed on this kind of thing. We leech off the raw emotion this kind of celebrity hounding creates within us, be it a g...