Time Flies When You're Knee Deep In Nog.

I love the Christmas season.

It is easily my favorite time of year.  There are things to be said about summer and spring and fall and all, but when it comes down to it, gimme some winter action anytime.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy some warm weather.  It is definitely nice to head on outside for a pick-up basketball game in some shorts and a t-shirt, rocking those new sneaks you just bought and need to break in.  Well, I'm told it's nice.  I haven't played a pick-up basketball game since birth, and I'm not really sure how one goes about picking one up anyway.  It was kind of supposed to be a metaphor.  Or something.

Here's another that I relate to better:  It's definitely nice to head on over to the pool when it's bright and sunny and hot out, head right on up to the water, turn around, and let yourself fall back into the water.  Now there's something I can deal with.  While I'm swimming around, I like to catch me a quick pick-up water polo game.

In the spring, I can enjoy the warming weather, blooming foliage, and everything that comes with nature's awakening from a deep winter's sleep.  In the fall, I can relish in the cooling weather, bountiful colors, and everything that comes with nature's death for a few months.

But winter... winter it where it's at.  First of all, winter is the time when football is getting even better.  Playoffs are coming, teams are in win-or-go-home situations, and sometimes your team isn't 4-11.  Secondly, the weather is nice a cold.  Perfect to strap on a sweatshirt, throw a jacket over that, rock out the knit cap, and hit the town.  Third?  Snow.  Now, it only snowed once so far, but I'm expecting some more to come.  Probably in March.

And lastly, the main reason I like winter the best?  Christmas.  I think I started to say that earlier.  These things tend to get away from me.  It is one day a year, and I look forward to it the whole time leading up to it.  Sure, it will stress me out in terms of money, and it will stress others out even more which will lead to them stressing others out, which will lead to a general disgust with all others hidden under the guise of Christmas Cheer.

"Cheer up, it's almost Christmas!" people will exclaim with much exclaim.  "Die!" you will wish to heartily retort.

But it's true.  It is almost Christmas.  Actually, it was three days ago, but I'm trying to convey a mood here, people.  For me, I think it stems from enjoying the gift-giving, plus it's the one time a year I see all of my family.  Well, most.  My Dad's side has a lot of people scattered around Maryland, from Baltimore to Towson to Columbia to Gaithersburg to Virginia (which is not in Maryland but shut your whore mouth) to Elkridge to Somewhere Else.  Once a year they all converge on my parents house in Columbia to share in good-hearted ribbing and not-good-for-your-hearted food.

There are, of course, the Secret Santa gifts to give out.  Also, it's a chance to see the kids I never get to see.  I have at least 7 kids to see, with new ones popping up at random intervals.  Seriously, sometimes I think we just let them in as they walk by.  Watching them open presents kind of brings you back to when you were young and all that mattered was getting those ready-to-rip packages in your hands and hoping they are not all filled with clothes because what kind of heartless hum-bug bastard only gets a kid clothes when what they really want is a brand-new just-released 1985 GI Joe jail set.

Rest in peace, Aunt Sue.

Anyways.  I know some people who aren't really fond of this season, obviously.  There are people out there who just don't care that much, and that's fine.  I'm not just talking about Jewish people, now.  I think a lot of Jewish people love Christmas.  The restaurants and movie theaters are barren.  I can understand why some may not enjoy the season.  Maybe it's the crowds, the falling-slowly-into-madness mentality of the Christmas mob, the drunken Santa's leering at your child in his lap, the Little Person attacking your child for repeatedly referring to him as an "Angry Elf."  Some just were not cut out for the season.

I am not one of these people.  In fact, if I saw one of these people, I would probably say something along the lines of, "Hey!  Cheer up!  It's almost Christmas!"   knowing full well I am subjecting myself to possible bodily harm and/or slow, painful death.  I can't help it.  My parents were and are very big with Christmas - the family side of it, not so much the church going, god fearing side - so it rubbed off onto me.  I'm a pretty good gifter, and my stocking stuffing skills are matched only by my father, and that man had many years to perfect it before I started to myself.  I mean, the guy wraps each individual thing in my Mom's stocking.  Seriously, I'm talking Chapstick.  Chapstick gets wrapped.  Awesome.

My only gripe?  It's too short.  In that way, I kind of envy the Hanukkah crowd.  They get 8 days.  We get one.  Albeit, ours is shoved viciously into the face of Joe Consumer before Halloween has passed.  So it's almost like Christmas gets two whole months.  I don't look at that side, myself.  I don't let myself think of it until Thanksgiving is over.  To me, Christmas is kind of one and a half days.  Christmas Eve, where you finish (or in my case, start) wrapping all your gifts, then light a fire, turn on the tree lights, and watch a couple Christmas movies before bed.

It's exhausting, all told.  But still too short.  It doesn't help when you have to go to work the next day, either.  I'm thinking next year I'm going to attempt to take off at least the day before and after Christmas.  This way, I can soak it in a little more before I have to go into my 364 day mental slumber until the next year.

Until then, "Cheer up!  It's almost Christmas if you really suspend disbelief and refuse to acknowledge a calendar!"