Transformers Review. One Word. It Was Freaking Awesome.
To quote Jim Carrey in The Cable Guy: "I don't know what the big fuss is about... It ruled!"
Detractors, shut it. I just saw Transformers. Seriously, I got out of the theater at 3:17pm today. I had pretzel bites with mustard and a Coke. I also had a Fan-Boy orgasm that lasted as long as the movie did.
This movie rocked. It was awesome. It was a spectacle among spectacles. Whether or not you like Michael Bay is irrelevant. The movie is good, naysayers be damned.
Allow me to address several of the Reasons Not To Like Transformers that I have read or heard from various people. Some from reviews on Ain't It Cool News, others from Comingsoon.net, and a few other sources. This is not to say those sites only showcased negative reviews. Far from it, they had several positive as well.
One of these is No Character Development. This is a dumb complaint for two reasons. One, the only human character you really need to care about is Sam Witwicky, played by Shia LaBeouf. They established a little bit of Care For This One with one of the army guys, but he's not the focus. Sam is the great-great grandson of the man who found one of the evil Transformers frozen in the Arctic Circle. I am not going to go into detail about who is called what and what they are looking for and which are the bad guys and blah blah blah. All of that has been tread and retread in every other review. This is about breaking down the bad reviews.
So, again. No Character Development. We meet Sam. He is an above average intelligence student. Kind of a dork, kind of an outcast. We see him in school, with another friend, interacting with his parents, trying to impress a girl, even taking care of his dog. In this time, we invariably come to like Sam Witwicky. We recognize this as a good kid with his head and heart in the right place. We want that girl to like him. We want him to be a hero. Many can identify him, as he is the Everyman. Young, but there it is. Because we like him, and because we are happy for him when he gets the car and rooting for him when he gets the girl into his car, he is a developed character. Developed enough, as the movie is not called The Adventures of Sam Witwicky.
The other characters are numerous and some just show up for no apparent reason. Or that's what the Bad People will tell you. Each character, no matter how "under-developed," serves his or her purpose. Anthony Anderson is one of the guys who just shows up. The reason for that is, he's the Computer Hacker. He is, actually, The Best Computer Hacker. His comic moments are worthy of LOLs, and he helps the Government after an entertaining raid on his Grandmother's house. Check mark for Computer Hacker.
Jon Voight is the Secretary of Defense. He is the Government Guy trying to keep everyone calm and find out What The Hell Is Going On. We like him, after initial skepticism. Check mark for Government Guy.
John Turturro shows up as the head of a secret government agency that doesn't really exist. He is odd, egotistical, and somewhat funny. He knows about the Transformers, and knows they have a connection to Sam Witwicky. We don't like him, but we might later if he can redeem himself. Check mark for Creepy Government Spook.
Bernie Mac is the car dealer where Sam first gets his Transformer. He is funny, has one of the best comedic moments in the movie, and is there for nothing more than comic relief and to get the Transformer to Sam. Check mark for Comic Relief Cameo.
Megan Fox. She is the hot girl Sam wants, and comes with a "mechanic" past. Sam has goo-goo eyes for her. That's enough for us. We now like her and want Sam to win her over. Check mark for Hot Girl Good Guy Wants.
Aside from the Army guys, who we just want to survive, that's all we need. These players all serve their purpose well in the context of the story. This movie is, in the end, about what one reviewer called Giant Fucking Robots. We know the purpose for each character we meet, and we are invested in Sam.
Another gripe was regarding the plot. What is boils down to is both the evil and good Transformers are looking for Something Big. If the Evil Guys find it, we are doomed. If the Good Guys find it, we are not doomed. In many movies of the sci-fi genre, that plot is in use. So why bitch about it? It's a perfectly fine premise to build a movie around when the movie you are building around that perfectly fine premise contains many scenes of Transformers transforming, fighting, transforming again, chasing each other, transforming, then fighting some more.
The fight scenes and chase scenes and transforming scenes were awesome. So much attention was payed to detail it as ridiculous. When I purchase the DVD, these are the scenes I plan on slowing down, possibly zooming in on, etc. So many things are moving and twitching and sliding into place, it comes across as genuinely real.
Michael Bay loves moving camera shots. Lots and lots of them. There's even a sequence beneath the Hoover Dam where a small evil Transformer is in a shootout of sorts with some Government Guys and the Computer People. In this scene, the camera rotates around the whole bunker for a bit, which is exactly what happened in Bad Boys II when they had a shootout in some Jamaican drug dealer's house. So we've been there. Why, though, is this a problem for people? I read one review where it was suggested that Bay had every shot moving at all times. This, my friends, was exaggeration.
When the camera is moving around, it works. It gives you a sense of how big the Transformers really are, which is huge.
Another I heard was the absence of the Main Evil Robot for much of the movie. See, now, that was the point. The Bad Guys were there not only to find Something Big, but also to free the Main Evil Robot who has been kept frozen and entombed by the Creepy Government Guy and his compatriots. So it stands to reason we do not get much of him until later in the movie. BUT. When he does get free, he kicks some serious ass.
To quote a Good Transformer: "It's Megatron! Fall back!!"
The Good Guys who kick butt all over the place are scared of this dude. Awesome.
But then, who is not scared of him? Why, the Main Good Robot, of course! Which leads to another awesome fight sequence.
As this is already way, way too long, I'll wrap it up here. My point is, put away all the "But They Didn't Do It Like That In The Original!" crap. I loved Transformers growing up. I had a ton of them; Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Jazz, Starscream, Megatron, Soundwave, etc etc etc. All the original metal ones, not the plastic versions that came later. I watched the cartoon and loved it. I watched the movie and gasped when one of the Transformers actually said "Damn it!"
But to the fanboys who bitch about lore and origins and the like, get over it. The cartoons we watched back in the day were based off of TOYS. There was never any build up off of a cartoon or a movie or a comic book. People made the toys, then thought, 'Hey, we should make up a cartoon off these things so we can sell the shit out of them!'
What I saw at the movies was my childhood thoughts come true. I was skeptical when I heard they made Optimus Prime and mack truck with flames. I thought to myself, 'Self, how will they make Megatron turn into a little gun?'
In the end, I didn't care. The movie was funny, intense, and a gigantic spectacle of computer animation and serious action. It was at times cheesy, and for the most part, completely predictable.
It was freaking awesome.
Detractors, shut it. I just saw Transformers. Seriously, I got out of the theater at 3:17pm today. I had pretzel bites with mustard and a Coke. I also had a Fan-Boy orgasm that lasted as long as the movie did.
This movie rocked. It was awesome. It was a spectacle among spectacles. Whether or not you like Michael Bay is irrelevant. The movie is good, naysayers be damned.
Allow me to address several of the Reasons Not To Like Transformers that I have read or heard from various people. Some from reviews on Ain't It Cool News, others from Comingsoon.net, and a few other sources. This is not to say those sites only showcased negative reviews. Far from it, they had several positive as well.
One of these is No Character Development. This is a dumb complaint for two reasons. One, the only human character you really need to care about is Sam Witwicky, played by Shia LaBeouf. They established a little bit of Care For This One with one of the army guys, but he's not the focus. Sam is the great-great grandson of the man who found one of the evil Transformers frozen in the Arctic Circle. I am not going to go into detail about who is called what and what they are looking for and which are the bad guys and blah blah blah. All of that has been tread and retread in every other review. This is about breaking down the bad reviews.
So, again. No Character Development. We meet Sam. He is an above average intelligence student. Kind of a dork, kind of an outcast. We see him in school, with another friend, interacting with his parents, trying to impress a girl, even taking care of his dog. In this time, we invariably come to like Sam Witwicky. We recognize this as a good kid with his head and heart in the right place. We want that girl to like him. We want him to be a hero. Many can identify him, as he is the Everyman. Young, but there it is. Because we like him, and because we are happy for him when he gets the car and rooting for him when he gets the girl into his car, he is a developed character. Developed enough, as the movie is not called The Adventures of Sam Witwicky.
The other characters are numerous and some just show up for no apparent reason. Or that's what the Bad People will tell you. Each character, no matter how "under-developed," serves his or her purpose. Anthony Anderson is one of the guys who just shows up. The reason for that is, he's the Computer Hacker. He is, actually, The Best Computer Hacker. His comic moments are worthy of LOLs, and he helps the Government after an entertaining raid on his Grandmother's house. Check mark for Computer Hacker.
Jon Voight is the Secretary of Defense. He is the Government Guy trying to keep everyone calm and find out What The Hell Is Going On. We like him, after initial skepticism. Check mark for Government Guy.
John Turturro shows up as the head of a secret government agency that doesn't really exist. He is odd, egotistical, and somewhat funny. He knows about the Transformers, and knows they have a connection to Sam Witwicky. We don't like him, but we might later if he can redeem himself. Check mark for Creepy Government Spook.
Bernie Mac is the car dealer where Sam first gets his Transformer. He is funny, has one of the best comedic moments in the movie, and is there for nothing more than comic relief and to get the Transformer to Sam. Check mark for Comic Relief Cameo.
Megan Fox. She is the hot girl Sam wants, and comes with a "mechanic" past. Sam has goo-goo eyes for her. That's enough for us. We now like her and want Sam to win her over. Check mark for Hot Girl Good Guy Wants.
Aside from the Army guys, who we just want to survive, that's all we need. These players all serve their purpose well in the context of the story. This movie is, in the end, about what one reviewer called Giant Fucking Robots. We know the purpose for each character we meet, and we are invested in Sam.
Another gripe was regarding the plot. What is boils down to is both the evil and good Transformers are looking for Something Big. If the Evil Guys find it, we are doomed. If the Good Guys find it, we are not doomed. In many movies of the sci-fi genre, that plot is in use. So why bitch about it? It's a perfectly fine premise to build a movie around when the movie you are building around that perfectly fine premise contains many scenes of Transformers transforming, fighting, transforming again, chasing each other, transforming, then fighting some more.
The fight scenes and chase scenes and transforming scenes were awesome. So much attention was payed to detail it as ridiculous. When I purchase the DVD, these are the scenes I plan on slowing down, possibly zooming in on, etc. So many things are moving and twitching and sliding into place, it comes across as genuinely real.
Michael Bay loves moving camera shots. Lots and lots of them. There's even a sequence beneath the Hoover Dam where a small evil Transformer is in a shootout of sorts with some Government Guys and the Computer People. In this scene, the camera rotates around the whole bunker for a bit, which is exactly what happened in Bad Boys II when they had a shootout in some Jamaican drug dealer's house. So we've been there. Why, though, is this a problem for people? I read one review where it was suggested that Bay had every shot moving at all times. This, my friends, was exaggeration.
When the camera is moving around, it works. It gives you a sense of how big the Transformers really are, which is huge.
Another I heard was the absence of the Main Evil Robot for much of the movie. See, now, that was the point. The Bad Guys were there not only to find Something Big, but also to free the Main Evil Robot who has been kept frozen and entombed by the Creepy Government Guy and his compatriots. So it stands to reason we do not get much of him until later in the movie. BUT. When he does get free, he kicks some serious ass.
To quote a Good Transformer: "It's Megatron! Fall back!!"
The Good Guys who kick butt all over the place are scared of this dude. Awesome.
But then, who is not scared of him? Why, the Main Good Robot, of course! Which leads to another awesome fight sequence.
As this is already way, way too long, I'll wrap it up here. My point is, put away all the "But They Didn't Do It Like That In The Original!" crap. I loved Transformers growing up. I had a ton of them; Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Jazz, Starscream, Megatron, Soundwave, etc etc etc. All the original metal ones, not the plastic versions that came later. I watched the cartoon and loved it. I watched the movie and gasped when one of the Transformers actually said "Damn it!"
But to the fanboys who bitch about lore and origins and the like, get over it. The cartoons we watched back in the day were based off of TOYS. There was never any build up off of a cartoon or a movie or a comic book. People made the toys, then thought, 'Hey, we should make up a cartoon off these things so we can sell the shit out of them!'
What I saw at the movies was my childhood thoughts come true. I was skeptical when I heard they made Optimus Prime and mack truck with flames. I thought to myself, 'Self, how will they make Megatron turn into a little gun?'
In the end, I didn't care. The movie was funny, intense, and a gigantic spectacle of computer animation and serious action. It was at times cheesy, and for the most part, completely predictable.
It was freaking awesome.
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